About Me Elsewhere:

myspace.com: myspace.com/jasondoucette
facebook: facebook.com/p/Jason_Doucette/508265405
resume: jasondoucette.com
company: xona.com

Having a Healthy Disregard for the Impossible:

This is quoted from Larry Page, a co-founder of Google. He explains, in 'The Google Story':

"Optimism is important. You have to be a little silly about the goals you are going to set. There is a phrase I learned in college called, 'having a healthy disregard for the impossible.' That is a really good phrase. You should try to do things that most people would not do."

The limits you set in your mind manifest themselves in reality. There is real truth to the phrase "you can do anything you set your mind to." Perhaps it is easiest to understand it in terms of negativity. The negative outlooks people have on their likelihood of succeeding are powerful. The mind will actively seek out and find reasons to fail to satisfy the limits it believes to be true. Your brain will go to great lengths to defend its creations. An example is the attempt to convince yourself that you are wrong; most have extreme difficulty admitting mistakes. This is a very powerful realization: You can gain immense power merely by placing effort to remove the foolish limitations you have set for yourself. So, take care in what you let your mind believe.

I am involved in a graphics technology project. It is research intensive, and largely theoretical. A decent portion is uncertain because it has never been done. I choose to believe it is possible, which means that if it fails, it will be because I failed. Notice the onus is on me. There is no one or nothing else to blame. Compare this attitude to someone who says the problem is unsolvable, since no one has done it, yet. They accept no responsibility for their failure, just as most people have no 'responsibility for self'. They have already imposed a limit, and given up. During times of difficultly, they have a grand excuse as to why the work is not being done -- because "it's impossible." They will never succeed. How could they possibly succeed without any effort? That is why you have to be silly about your goals. It is the only way you can properly test to see if they are feasible. Also, since these poor souls have convinced the mind that any effort would be futile, they have effectively shut off any unconscious energy the brain would normally devote to working on the problem. I have solved numerous problems while 'away' from conscious effort. You will never know your true self until you make an effort to push the limits of your potential. It is sad to realize most people will never know themselves because they are their own worst enemy.

"Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you."
- Frank Tyger

Software Engineer / Developer:

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes."
- Edsger Dijkstra

You wouldn't believe the number of people who think I actually enjoy the physical act of sitting down in front of a monitor and depressing keys. The computer is nothing more than a tool that I use to express my creativity and solve extremely complicated problems. I do not like pounding away at keys. I like being creative and solving problems. People seem to misunderstand that the keyboard / monitor are merely an interface to this incredible tool. It is a tool that most people are ignorant towards because its results appear intangible.

A junior high school teacher discovered our (my brother and I's) interest in 'computers'. After school, he gave us a sheet of data that had to be labouriously typed into a computer database. Seriously. I was wondering and waiting to see if he was going to show us something fun. To my dismay, it never occurred. He actually thought we enjoyed sitting down and typing sheets of data into a computer like a mindless drone...

Meanwhile, at home, at the same age of 13, without access to the Internet (it was 1988), graphics books, or references, I invented the 3D formula that allows 3D graphics on a 2D screen to be possible, invented bilinear texture mapping by re-working this equation (the same texturing method used in Doom in 1993), and created the same pseudo-3D road engine (which was a better algorithm than the available PC racers of the time: Test Drive) which was the primary foundation for my final year project at Acadia University (in 1999).

Actions and Motivation:

People say talk is cheap, and that actions speak louder than words. Of course, this is true. You can say one thing, and convince others and yourself all you want, but your actions show the real deal. But, it shows more than what most people think. People's actions show where their motivations lie.

Yes, people will hide their true motives, and tell you a different story for a number of reasons, usually to entice you to follow suit with their desires. Likely, you would not follow suit if the true motives were revealed. But, searching deep into these persuasive minds will likely show that these people actually believe their desires and motivations for controlling others are legitimate. They are not conniving individuals scheming an evil plan. They truly believe, themselves, they are doing the 'right thing'. It is why they are so convincing.

It should not surprise you that people can do things and not know why they did them. Ask any kid who has performed a bad act, "Why?" He is unlikely to be able to formulate a reasonable sentence explaining the cause. This is partially due to his inability to put thoughts into words, but more likely, and much more importantly, it is because he simply does not know. The brain does a lot of stuff without conscience thought. (When was the last time you thought about walking? Realize you can program this subconscious, and thus make it better, so you will never be that kid under the interrogation light at a loss for words.)

I digress. Back to the main point: People actually believe their motives are different than the true motives. This may exist because they have convinced themselves otherwise, but it is more likely because they simply do not know what their true desires are. The desires of humans can be quite astonishing at times. Wouldn't it be nice to know what they really were? Well, there is a simple hint at what the truth is -- and I am all about searching for the truth -- it lies in that a person's action is indicative of their motivations.

You can convince me all you want that your desires are whatever your wildest dreams are and whatever you have convinced yourself, and you can show me all of the evidence that supports this, and you may not even be lying, you may even believe in all of this yourself when you go to bed at night and it is just you and your brain... but... your actions tell the truth. Look at your actions. What you do is what you want to do. You just learned something about yourself. We are a lot more robotic than we think. It is called the subconscious.

This notion should not be used merely for the uation of others, although it may help you decide who you wish to surround yourself with, which is quite important if you hope to continue positive growth in yourself, but it should be used to initiate change in the only thing you have power to change... yourself. Look at your actions and give yourself a hard, honest self-uation test and realize what you are all about. Your actions are a clear indication of the truth. You are what you do. If you do not like the self-uation -- and you probably won't to some degree (if not, you are not being honest enough) -- commence the change. Remember that tomorrow never comes, so the change must start now.